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Grandma's Purse

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

No! YOU Can't Sit in My Pew


I come from a very churchy background. And yes, I was a
tambourine player....but that itchy yellow dress with the
noisy crinoline and that funny little hat that had the rubber
string in it that went under my chin that cut off my circulation
was cute, but crazy!! What was my Mama thinking? I needed
something to take my mind off the burn, pain and the itch. Sounds
like hemorrhoids don't it??? Laughter. Yeah that's the ticket!
But you couldn't laugh in church. My parents would have a
fit if we even made a peep during service let alone a case of
the uncontrollable giggles. So these are the people who can't
sit in the pew with me because you make me laugh.
My little sister Coy and you know why.
my brother Eric, because it would be none stop with pointing and lots of crying!!
Bella, because there would be gum under the pews and monster laughing
like can't catch my breathe I think I'm going to die laughing.
Tomas It would be in spanish with pictures
and funny as heck!
Anne... Anne... Anne....They would just ask
us to leave altogether.
Jack OOh you're the Sunday School teacher he he he he!!!
Oh there are a whole lot more like
Robin Williams, Rich Pryor, Robert Klein, Bill Cosby, the whole cast from the first season of
"In Living Color", Arenz, and my whole family.
Can't none of Y'ALL sit in my pew.
More craziness to come and you could be next!
Have a great week.

51 comments:

Janine said...

Hi hi hi, this is sooo sweet.
You really wore that dress?
I would love to see a photo of this.
I love, love love tht painting with this to beautiful characters.
I allwys find it hard to, to be quiet during the service, but I am a chatoli´c and so there is much movement, sitting, kneeling, standing, sitting, kneeling, stamding (hi hi hi).
Have a super day and don´t forget to show us this photo ;0)

Janine said...

Wow, I was the first to comment.
What time do you have in the USA now?
Have a good day or night
Janine

rachel awes said...

oh vanessa! hee hee hee!
even jesus might make you laugh there!! what a wonderfilled theology of laughter!
love your list of people, including YOU!
& love your illustration...
too bad the outfit's uncomfortable cause it's adorable!
lots of love from my pew to yours!
xox

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

ROTFLMAO!!!
Oh Vanessa!!! The minute I saw that illustration, I was taken back to getting dressed for church; the *good* shoes, the anklets, the matching coat and hat, and yes---THE GLOVES! And then having to BEHAVE during Mass, when all I wanted to do was crawl under the pew and pinch my Aunt and Uncle in front of me (who could have used a good divine pinching if you know what I mean!)
And I too was always given the *poke* when I started laughing (frequently) like when the priest was shorter than the altar boys and I cracked some comment on him being a Hobbit......Lord forgive me!!!
And now???
Yes we would be escorted out, or at my church, they probably would send us up to the praise band and let us rock out!!! (my minister knows the mess I am, and still is my friend....I am blessed!)
Love this~~~yeah, we need to try and sit next to each other JUST ONCE and see how long it lasts. Twinkie could drown us out for sure...eh? ;-)

XXOO~~♥
Anne

Ces Adorio said...

Damn Best Tambourine Player Ever! Ooops, I just swore in church. Solly. Love this illustration Vee. So cutie patootie.

Cassandra said...

That is such a gorgeous illustration!! I love your style and I love the way that you always have a story behind every image! I always look forward to seeing your illustrations!!!

Kstyles said...

Hi Vanessa! This is adorable! I love the look on the girls face. I have a business question to ask but I couldn't find an email address for you. If you would please leave your email or agents email on my blog or email me at shorterk@duvalschools.org, I would truly appreciate it! Thanks bunches LOVE your artwork, it's so inspiring!

Rabbit Town Art said...

That's a great expression and the dress is very pretty...

Lindsey said...

I think that I had that same yellow dress! What is it about the south that we all wore those dresses, hats and gloves, and sat in pews, and I really thing there's a law to sing the same verses over and over again rather than just once through in the south.

Now, in California, the kids all wear jeans and a t-shirt; if they are really fancy, they have a collar.

Anyway, I'm so glad God has fun and we can too. I just read Psalm 126 and it's all about laughing! Go check it out, it's great!

Eric Barclay said...

Lettuce pray. I mean let us prey. I mean let us PRAY. I mean bow your dang heads.

Love it. You're right, we would get in trouble.

Lisa M Griffin said...

LOVE! The funny thing is, growing up in a rather tight Catholic community, I understand completely. How many times did my sister and I have to fight off a fit of giggles in church. :)
Wonderful share, and great expressions... so playful and light-hearted. Just like the artist. :)

Unknown said...

I love the story. Like we talked about last week, the best posts are the ones that have a personal story attached to them. I love this piece. The expression on her face is priceless. :)

Tomás Serrano said...

I never thought I would be happy and so proud when someone told me "you can't sit in my pew" someday. It's a breaking privilege hear it from you!
If I'm not your brother, please let me be your cousin at least...Ha, ha, ha...
By the way, wonderful illustration. I was always holding back the laughs in the church. When I was a child... and later...

Ana M.F. said...

I know that feeling (Catholic school).
Lovely dress ♥

Brad said...

oh vanessa, this is so perfect! i can just picture you messing about with your outfit, uncomfortable as all get out! hahaha! adorable scene, i love it!

i love your take on swarm too, haha i remember getting my mother some perfume like that when i was just a wee lad, i am sure it attracted all sorts of critters!

Carin Bramsen said...

Hilarious! And what a gorgeous illustration.

k.h.whitaker said...

ooooo, I had a dress just like that, it was awful and terrible to try to sit still in and the shoes I had to wear with it pinched my feet. Oh sweet memories ;o... Love this Vee, great details and memories. I can just see this group "sitting" on the pew with each other ;) hugs
oh and I played hand bells, we had to wear little white gloves too.

MrBibleHead said...

Oh Vanessa... you are a riot! :o) We surely couldn’t sit next to each other..... What a wonderful trip down memory lane. I remember getting the giggles as an alter boy.... that was a BIG no no... My parents heard about it... then my rear end heard about it! Thanks for making my day! I laughed outload..... :oD

MrBibleHead said...

Out loud... sorry :o) Outload sounds disgusting :o)

Trina said...

This is so cute! She looks like she wants to smack him with the tambourine then snap him with the hat strap!

salli s. swindell said...

non-stop laughter over here!!!!! that dress sounds like pure torture!

Shirley said...

Love this, Nester! Haaaaa haaa! I can imagine how uncomfortable you were in that dress..but how adorable you must've looked! And tambourine?! I love it..you are so full of surprises. I can only imagine how hard it was to find someone who could sit next to you on that pew..were there any who could resist a giggle or two with you? : ) Hope you've been super, V!!! hugs to you.

Michaele Razi said...

LOL! Wonderful post and fabulous illustration! Love the expressions AND this fantastic stain-glass windows!

Unknown said...

Hi! Very sweet artwork! I love it!

Shirley said...

Yay! I get to sit with you, V! YAY! You are so sweet to visit and shout at my blog. You make me feel like a billion bucks, Vanessa..thank you! Well, I'll be the bestest, most happiest pew-sitter friend of yours creating characters with you and promise not to drop your tambourine. You are the most generous soul. XOXO big hugs to you!! Have a wonderful Thursday..off to see mom now. : )

theartofpuro said...

So funny!She's so cute:)

Unknown said...

oh you are a riot sweet Vanessa!!! love this!!! love love love it...and the crinoline...I heard the sound in my head....what fun!!!!

michael robertson said...

You are too funny, Vanessa!! Growing up, I had to get up and pretend to go to the bathroom many times during mass because I felt a laughing fit coming on and I knew if I didn't stop it, I'd get cracked across the head by Sister Michaelinda!...ah, sweet Catholic school memories...!
Once again, you've managed to make me laugh with your awesome talent. I love that little outfit, their expressions, that pew, and everything else about it.

Thanks for the laugh ( I'm glad I'm not in church, cuz I'd be getting cracked across the head right about now!

michele said...

Oh Vanessa, this is a good one!
I had to leave and come back to comment...I was trying to keep a straight face, but the snickers started getting the best of me! I could feel my mom sending "daggers" my way, and you know what happens next- Ha ha ha ha ha!
Just shake that tambourine, while I sit way back up in the balcony with my head bowed and nobody will hear all the laughing! Or not- Make a joyful noise! :o)

lincoln said...

even in 2011 that's still the state of church in America...

It's a wonderful humorous take on a various serious topic in our churches—the last real place segregation exists...

Jenn Bower said...

HA! This too brought back my own pew memories: rabbit fur muffs, matching boiled wool coats, white patent leather shoes that were a disaster to keep clean & my dad always snoring in the seat behind me. Your posts are always so endearing and I see why they make you so successful - they tap into what it means to be human and reminds us grown-ups of the easier and simpler side of youth.

Tamara Henderson said...

lol you make me laugh!your story remind me of when I was younger we always had to wear these big poofy fluffy dresses to church with a uncomfortable slip that had a round hoop at the bottom and it was a pain to sit down because of the metal hoop.

Bella Sinclair said...

Heeheeheeeheeesnicker

Pew.

That word always makes me giggle.

Bella Sinclair said...

Pew

Pew

Pew

Bella Sinclair said...

Sssssssshhhhhh! Sit still! You're gonna get us BOTH in trouble.

Bella Sinclair said...

Pew!

Whut? I'm not sitting on your pew. I'm sitting BEHIND you. DIRECTLY behind you. Shooting the top of your hat with my imaginary slingshot.

Pew

Pew

Bella Sinclair said...

And what's the matter with crinoline? Don't you like what I'm wearing? Got on my best Jackie-O pillbox hat with the rubber band strap too. 'Coz my head is too misshapen, and it keeps sliding off, that's why.

Bella Sinclair said...

Hey, I have an idea. When everyone starts singing, you play your tambourine and I'll play my armpit farts.

Bella Sinclair said...

LOVE your illustration, sweetheart V! HAHAHAHAHA! Is brother Eric giving you a hard time there?

Have the bestest weekend ever, my dear! XOXO

Ann Pilicer said...

Beautiful illo V! You capture a moment in time so wonderfully. But it is pretty dress even though it was uncomfortable. :( But,always love your stories! :D

Mechelle said...

Vanessa sounded like some fun times back then. You know when your were not supposed to laugh, that is when you could not stop laughing! Have a great weekend.

Drawtist_P said...

I guess my classmates would be barred from the pew also. You'd be 6 feet under by the time you're done laughing at their shenanigans. :D

Many, many thanks again for all your help, V!

k.h.whitaker said...

I just spent the last ten minutes going back through your posts just so I could smile. ((((((((Big Hug))))))) Buttercup!!!

Tamara Henderson said...

Thanks for stopping and sweet comment!! :) Whenever I kids I won't do it to them either I wear jeans and comfortable clothes to church now too lol! You have a wonderful weekend!

Debra Keirce said...

I think God would LOVE for you to laugh in his house! I laugh in church every chance I get!! :)

Vicki Smith said...

Love those little socks and gloves! Your personal stories always add so much warmth to your posts. You're a great illustrator because you're also a great storyteller.

S.E.Minegar said...

everything you draw makes me smile. i grew up a PK and i've spent hundreds of ornery hours in the pews. my brother and i used to have army crawl races under them while dad was in his study.

you've just opened a can of memories for me! :)

Anonymous said...

Vanessa, I absolutely love the new header with the 3 cats!!!

gma said...

But that hat was like a helmet for war! Funny Story... I simply love the face and the twisted mouth!

Kay Aker said...

Oh the utter torment! You capture it only too well! My mother used to tell me you had to suffer ot be beautiful.

Carole Guermeur said...

Nice painting